Radical philosopher and duck enthusiast Peter Rollins has helped explain certain fanatic tendencies displayed by Triple J fans, by claiming that the government-funded radio station acts as a means to drown out feelings of anxiety, and prevents encounters with commercial radio, which he described “as the auditory equivalent of repeatedly beating ones head against a plank of wood, as somebody holds you firmly by the ankles, and drags you down some stairs.”
Rollins’ comments follow a recent radio ratings survey, in which Triple J comprehensively destroyed it’s commercial contemporaries, proving for now, that a 24 hour advertising loop punctuated by varying degrees of senseless drivel, that same Justin Bieber song over and over and over again, and subliminal suggestions to “keep your mother f***ing hands off that mother f***ing dial”, just isn’t doing it for the majority of 18-39 year olds anymore.
In his new book “The Idolatry of J” Rollins’ discusses how the mass exodus from commercial radio has led to a new form of radicalism amongst young people in Australia:
“… Have you ever criticised a Triple J fan, and witnessed the ferocity with which he or she will defend their judgement? In these situations, believers of the “J” exhibit behaviours that are strengthened by criticism. A defence mechanism, like the dark force in The Fifth Element, that only becomes stronger when directly attacked. This is not merely fandom, it is fundamentalism.”
“… It is important to understand, that this excessive Triple J fundamentalism is not a problem in and of itself, rather, it is the solution to a problem. The problem, in this case, being Nathan Nat and Shaun in the Morning.”
“… The weakness of this ultra extreme radio love, is found in its apparent strength, and can manifest in the form of aggressive overconfidence when somebody in the workplace changes the radio station to, say, 96.1. Triple J extremists will regularly interpret this as direct confrontation, and can lash out, sometimes violently, if the J is not quickly restored.”
“… I say ‘weakness’ because these defensive over-reactions give outsiders an insight to an underlying insecurity that is best illuminated using the following analogy:”
“Imagine you’ve just received a package in the mail. You don’t remember ordering a giant duck-shaped object, but you open it up anyway and discover its a huge duck costume that someone has sent to you by mistake. Naturally, you decide to try it on, and just as you’re doing your first lap around the kitchen table, your boss walks in and catches you dressed up as a giant duck. At this point – while you may not have solid grounds for a sudden burst of defensive over reaction – you could hardly be blamed for suddenly yelling out ‘what the hell are YOU doing here!?’.”
We have to admit, that Peter Rollins kind of lost us at the end there, with the duck stuff. If you – like me – didn’t completely understand that metaphor then please share it with your friends, see if they can help, and then perhaps let us know what you think in the comments below. If you did understand it, I’d urge you to immediately seek medical attention, as you could be a functioning psychotic.