Humpback Whales: a Musical Comeback

Ocean  –  After a long hiatus from world music charts and sustainable species lists, a pod of Humpback Whales have made a “big splash” into the world of ambient listening, with the release of their first significant album in ages: PodTune.

The album is a collaboration between ambient composers of the human variety and a number of critically acclaimed Humpback Whales. It has been labelled as the wildest interspecies musical collaboration since Ozzy Osbourne teamed up with the Muppets.

The #HumpbackComeback has left both musicologists and marine biologists stunned at the mammals’ ability to flip back from catastrophically low ratings on the charts. One musical biologist told The Incidentally: “Humpbacks had a close call with extinction in the 60’s. For a while they became what is known in the bio-music business as ‘dead in the water‘. Unfortunately in that case we were speaking both musically and literally. Since then they’ve had a hard time getting their population back on track, so it’s understandable their musical careers have taken second fiddle to mating displays and avoiding harpoons.”

The album’s production team has also received praise for completing PodTune on only their second attempt. It’s understood that their first attempt “Pod Ditty” ended abruptly when one of the whales – apparently caught up in the moment – missed a note, breached out of time, and crash landed into a pontoon full of screaming musicians.12177190_10156133571120291_152011221_o

“It was around then that we realised how difficult Humpbacks can be to work with,” said one producer. “Your average Humpback Whale does what he wants, when he wants. They are primarily concerned with themselves and they have such large personalities. They’re always late, often wet, and they eat everything. I mean, do yourself a favour; never cater for Humpback Whales – they literally eat a plank-ton of food.”

The Incidentally listened to the album, and we lost two of our best musical analysts to deep transcendent comas part-way through track nine. Fortunately, one of them was able to scratch his final thoughts onto a desk before he slipped away. They read: “They’ve done it. This is music, the way nature intended.”

Public response to the album has been over-whale-mingly good. 

Incidentally – whaling in the 90’s, culminated in at least two major historical events; the 1966 moratorium designed to specifically counter the over-exploitation of sea-life, and Rolling Stone magazine added “Going Extinct” as number 2 on the list of “Top Ten Ways to Ruin Your Musical Career.”


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